Pages

Tuesday, June 19, 2012

Lanny Poffo - A Real Fucking Genius



Here we go again! I don't know what Lanny Poffo is more famous for - being Randy Savage's brother or being that overly gay jobber in the WWE. That's no swipe at gay people. I know plenty of them, and there is no denying that when Lanny pranced around the ring he was really expressing himself freely. You gotta call a spade a spade here. It is EXACTLY what it is.

But now, I'm calling him a fucking liar. Lanny should be ashamed of himself, riding on the memory of his dead legendary family so that he can sneak his way into the WWE Hall of Fame. And who is there to challenge him? Nobody that still has a pulse. Hell, his mother barely has one. How disturbing is it that Poffo dragged his 85 year old mother into a YouTube video to back up his LIE? You just have to love how Lanny coaches her through the video - "We were at the mall, right mom?... Dad loved the Olive Garden. Didn't you steal some breadsticks in your purse mom?... And Randy said he wouldn't go in unless we all do, right? Just like the Von Erichs". And Judy says, "Who the fuck are the Von Erichs?"

Do you really want a ring that bad Lanny? Does it mean that much to you to be known as WWE Hall of Famer Leaping Lanny Poffo? Would you really cockblock everything your brother achieved in his career for your own selfish motives? Angelo Poffo was a legendary grappler. Your brother is perhaps the most admired worker in the history of the business. And you,... well, you're just you. An enhancement talent in the 80's, Mr. Perfect's sidekick bitch in the 90's, and fully a paid contracted roster talent for WCW in the 2000's who never saw a single minute of TV time. That's your legacy? Really?

Randy may have said something to that affect. He may have even said it word for word, to put a smile on the face of his aging dad and to pat the back of his lackey brother. And so, you would actually prevent the WWE from honoring his legacy just so you can slip yourself into the Hall and be remembered as a fucking leach? WOW! And who is going to say it isn't true? Other than the four Poffo's at Olive Garden that day, two which are now dead, and one who wishes she would have drowned you at birth - who else is there to support your claim? Oh, let me guess. You have an Olive Garden waiter that was a witness?

And what kind of douchebag throws in his political views into a video where he tries to clean up his own mess? Typical Republican bullshit. You made a lying video to defend your lie and then lie about how your political party did nothing wrong to this economy while hinting that your current President is a terrorist. You're some piece of work Lanny Poffo! A real American douchebag. What kind of fucking person are you? This has nothing to do with your political views, because everyone is entitled to their own. But maybe next time you need to preview the video before you post. Maybe you need to get some cue cards for your mother so we don't see you coaching her and practically winking at her on camera. Maybe you should tell the truth for once, and stop trying to parade yourself as someone who mattered or did anything in this business. Stop trying to be remembered for things you didn't do or achieve. It's sad to see this and even sadder to see you stand in the way. But I guess that's what makes you a "genius".

Here's a poem for you:

There once was man named Savage.
Whose brother was less than average.
He'd prance in the ring while doing his thing,
but his skills smelled worse than corn beef and cabbage.
Now he desperately wants to be in the Hall of Fame,
but his plan couldn't get any more lame.
He'll ride the legacy of his father and brother,
while making videos where he's coaching his mother,
and lie to fans saying they only wanted to be inducted by family name.
He's embed these lies in his head.
And the only ones who can challenge him are already dead.
Nice try you fucking genius,
now why don't you go eat some penis,
and just let your brother be inducted alone instead.


2 comments:

  1. Yes please die hard Derek...and slowly....and painfully. You wouldn't understand the concept of family given your New Jersey upbringing and the fact your dad got crush by the automated garbage truck he worked on for a living.
    But at least one person read your juvenile blog.So go back to the public library and use their computer to spout your next hate spewed column and be proud your putting your GED finally to some use.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Thank you for leaving your name Anonymous!

    Trust and believe that I know more about family than you ever would. You probably never knew your father because your mother was a strung out crack whore. Please get your facts straight first - I was born and raised in Brooklyn, NY - not the swamps of NJ, and my father drove a bus not a garbage truck. Again, at least I knew my father. My blog may be juvenile, but it is MINE. Where was yours again? And for the record, I am a proud high school graduate. I'm not a GED quitter, but it certainly looks like you missed an english class or two. In case you didn't know - I get paid to write and spew, while your simple minded minimum wage ass reads the words that put the paper in my pocket. Now get back to your job before you overcook the french fries!

    ReplyDelete